In last blog we saw that how the cartoon had inspired the act of shouting “I love you” rather than any kind of adult content. Now we wanted to find out more about why he was trying to hug the other boy. So we continued with our dialogue..
Me: Your teacher also told me that you were trying to hug Amit.
Son: What?? I was trying to hug? And that too Amit??
Me: Yes, precisely that’s what teacher said.
Son: No Mamma it was not me. In fact Amit was trying to hug me.
Me: Then why teacher said that you were trying to hug him?
Son: I don’t know. That day the teacher caught us running in the corridor. He was trying to hug me. So I was running.
Me: But why Amit was trying to hug you?
Son: How do I know Mamma? The teacher caught us running in the corridor and she was angry. She was about to scold us. Suddenly Amit told her that I was trying to hug him. I tried to tell teacher that he was lying. But teacher didn’t listen to me.
I tried to probe further in different ways but got the same answers. From whatever conversation we had I was quite convinced that my son was not trying to hug the other boy. Normally parents know when their kids are lying. This was probably one such incident where he was speaking truth. Probably the other kid thought that offence is the best defense. So when teacher found the kids running down the corridor the kid complained to teacher about my son. Since my son was already known to be naughty the teacher didn’t bother to check the truth.
By now I had started breathing little easily. Two out of three instances were down and both the incidents had nothing to do with access to adult content. But what about the third?? First two incidents had sounded little lame from the beginning. Still I didn’t wish to leave anything un-explored. I wanted to be 100% sure that my son was not seeing something he ought not to. The third incident was climax. It had really put me into jitters. This part of the conversation was what I had dreaded the most.
Why was my son licking hands of the other boy? Why indeed?? Please follow my next blog to find the answers.
In my last blog we read about my son’s teacher expressing her doubts regarding my son having access to adult content. We decided to have a dialogue with our son. Read on to know what happened next. We started with episode of my son shouting “I love you” in the class.
Me: Do you know dear today I received a phone call from your teacher.
Son: How come Mamma? Today I really behaved well. I didn’t trouble any of the teachers.
Me: Yes, I know that. Today she had called for something else. She mentioned that you shouted “I love you Kiyara” in front of whole class.
Son: Yes. But that was not today.
Me: May be. But why did you shout like that in the first place?
Son: Because she is a nice girl and I like to play with her. Why what happened?
Clearly my son had not understood the gravity of this issue. He was talking very innocetly.
Me: You like to play with her. But it doesn’t mean that you can shout “I love you”
Son: Why not?? If Nobita can tell Shizuka then I can also tell Kiyara…
Clearly we could see that all this shouting business was inspired by his favorite cartoon “Doremon”. Normally before allowing my son to watch any program I used the watch couple of episodes along with him and used to permit him if and only if that show was appropriate. I had already banned couple of cartoons. But I had never imagined that apparently harmless cartoon could inspire such an action in my son. We had found the source of first complaint at least.
We had to tell our son that even if he liked playing with some girl shouting “I love you” in the class is not considered good and advised him not to repeat this behavior.
We also told him that there is difference in Indian culture and Western culture. So even if it ok in Western culture it is not really ok in our culture. God knows how much he understood but he was at least receptive when we were taking. Thankfully he has not repeated this stunt till date.
Banning the cartoon completely was not option. Post this fiasco we encouraged him more to watch channels like National Geographic, BBC Earth etc. Sometimes we used to watch cartoons along with him and tell him what was appropriate and what was not!!
We were relieved that at least the first incident had absolutely nothing to do with the adult content. But what about the second incident??
Since my son had entered primary school, I had started dreading the calls from his school. Typically I used to get complaints from various teachers that he disturbs the class. One day when I saw a call from his school number I wondered what he had done that day. His class teacher had called and asked me, “Ma’am, you are working mother right?” I answered affirmatively. She said, “Do you know probably your son has access to adult content?” I was mentally prepared to hear any complaint but this. How could it be? I was speechless for few moments. If it was really true it was definitely a matter of concern for us. My son was only 6 years old. Finally I mustered the courage and asked her, “Could you please tell me exactly what makes you think that he access to adult content?” She narrated the following 3 incidents which had taken place in last couple of months:
He had shouted “I love you” in the class to one girl
One boy had complained that my son was trying to kiss him
One boy had complained that my son had licked his hand and he was not letting that other boy to lick his own hands.
The teacher had sought face to face meeting with both the parents. I was flabbergasted to hear all these incidents. I was very restless. I called up my husband and informed him about the whole thing. Even he was clueless. We had to talk to our son. It was a delicate job. We needed to get the answers but at the same time it was necessary to remain neutral and understand our son’s take on it. Afterall he was our son and we didn’t want him to lose his faith in his own parents.
I was not able to imagine if at all he was getting access to adult content then how and where he was getting it. He was not in a professional day care where there would be other kids and seniors. He was in charge of elderly couple and their daughter in law. We had known them for years. They had never given him access to computer or mobile. They were very vigilant. At home he had access to laptop as well as mobile. But it was under our supervision only. We didn’t have any books or CDs or anything with adult content.
Then how was he getting access?? How indeed?? My head had started spinning and I was not able to concentrate on anything in office. All these years when my kiddo was asking me all awkward questions I had never felt restless like this. For the first time I was dreading conversation with my own kid. I was really afraid of what answers I would receive.
Me and my husband were quite sure that our son was not having access to adult content. But then what about those incidents which his teacher had reported. Follow my next blog to get answers to the above riddles. (To be continued)
Now my son had entered preliminary school. He was known to be very talkative and naughty kid. One day I received a call from his school. His teacher told me that he disturbed the class. He intentially gives attention seeking answers. I aksed her what was the matter. She narrated the following incident.
She was a Maths teacher. She was teaching the class about units of measurement. While teaching she had asked the class if they had ever noticed the measurements like 1 kg, 500 grams or 1 litre written on certain packed items. My son had promptly replied, “Yes, on “Daru ki bottle”. After this answer there was ruckus in the class. Kids started laughing, clapping and lot of time had lost in bringing the class under control. I assured the teacher that I would speak to my son.
I was also surprised by this answer. Of all things “Daru ki bottle” was a bit too much. All of us are teetotalers. Even most of our acquaintances are likewise. I don’t even remember going to any party with my kid where alcohol was served. I spoke to my husband. Even he seemed clueless. It appeared that we would have to speak to our son directly to know the secret. We had to be very careful. In the evening I asked him casually.
Me: These days whats up at school? What new topic are they teaching these days?
After couple of other topics he reached “Units of Measurement” I immediately caught the thread. And asked him where all he had seen measurements written?? He mentioned couple of items and then mentioned “Daru ki bottle”
Me: Daru ki bottle? Where have you seen “Daru ki bottle”? We don’t consume it.
Son: Arre Mamma, yesterday I was coming home with Daddy from day care. On the road I stumbled upon Daru ki bottle. So when teacher asked where you had seen measurements before I remembered that bottle.
Me: Oh! It’s ok. But how did you know that it was indeed a “Daru ki bottle”?
Son: Because of it’s shape.
He traced the peculiar shape of liquor bottles in the air.
Me: How do you know that Daru ki bottle has this peculiar shape??
Me: Teachers?? What do you mean by teachers?? Teacher told you it is liquor bottle??
Son: No Mamma, hoarding! It’s the hoarding!!
Me: Will you please tell me what are you blabbering??
Son: There is that big hoarding on way to school, you remember?
Me: Yes, what of that?
Son: Mamma, that hoarding has big ad of Teacher’s!!
Finally it dawned on me. The hoarding had big advertisement of famous liquor brand – Teacher’s Highland Cream.
This is how my son had deduced bottle he had stumbled upon was “Daru ki bottle”. I was aghast. After listening to this I had no heart of telling off my kid about the teacher’s complaint. I just decided to let go off the incident. When he will grow he will automatically understand the difference between what is socially acceptable and what is not!! Till then the answer that the measurement is written on “Daru ki bottle” holds good for me. What about you??
My limited point in this incident is don’t just get panicked by complaints from school. Nor scold the child without having meaningful dialogue. Have faith in your upbringing as well as have faith in your kid. Give him opportunity to explain himself.
One day my kid came home in an irritated mood. He was very very angry with his Hindi teacher. I asked him patiently what was the matter. He told me that the Hindi teacher had scolded him for no reason in front of whole class. He started narrating.
Son: Today the teacher was teaching us a poem in Hindi class. It was about importance of time. While teaching she asked “पल पल इकठ्ठा हो कर क्या बन जाता है?” (What do moments in time add up to?)
Son: I answered “घंटा” (an hour). Then the other kids in the class started laughing and teacher scolded me in the class. Did I say anything wrong Mamma??
I could sense the righteous anger in his tone. I heaved a sigh. Technically speaking there was nothing wrong in his answer. The catch was that Marathi being his mother tongue he didn’t know the Hindi slang. Literally speaking घंटा in Hindi means an hour. But in slang the same word has a vulgar meaning. The kids who knew this meaning laughed and created ruckus in the class. The teacher who knew this slang had scolded him and my son who didn’t know this slang was totally clueless. I pacified my son. I had to tell him that there was absolutely nothing wrong in his answer. But at the same time I had to explain him the how the word was used in slang. In slang it either meant “nothing” or “penis”. The teacher had obviously thought that he had purposely used this double meaning word in class and had scolded him. After listening to this he was pacified to some extent but some glitch remained in his mind.
In all this I appreciated the fact that the teacher was vigilant in the class and she had paid attention to the language kids were using. But one thing bothered me and it was that my son didn’t know why he was scolded. I decided to speak to his teacher. I made an appointment and met her.
I narrated the full incident to her. She recollected it easily. Firstly, I appreciated her keen attention towards the kids. Then I told her that I had absolutely no problem in teachers reprimanding my son if he made mistakes or if he misbehaved. But at the same time I expressed my concern that the child did not know why he was reprimanded. If he did not know the reason for scolding he would not be able to amend his behavior and he would end up having a grudge against teacher. I requested her to ensure that the kid knows the reason when they are reprimanded. After listening the teacher also agreed with my view point.
Friends some times it happens with us also. We are adults and our thinking pattern is governed by social acceptance norms. But kids are more impulsive and may not understand our view. If admonishment or punishment is required then do so but let the kid know the reason. Else how the kid would understand where he went wrong or where he needs to improvise.
Come to think of social acceptance norms I remember one more incident regarding measurements on liquor bottle. Let’s meet next week with a new story.
२०१९ हे वर्ष आम्हा सगळ्यांना एक्दम गडबडीचे आणि बऱ्याच बदलांचे होते. मुलींचे अरंगेत्रम , निहारिकाचे कॉलेज यामुळे हे वर्ष कधी सुरु झाले आणि सरले ते कळले पण नाही .म्हणून शेवटी क्रिसमस सुट्टीत कॅंकून ला जायचे ठरवले. मेक्सिकोच्या आग्नेय दिशेला कॅरिबियन समुद्र किनाऱ्यावर वसलेले हे गाव. एकदम आपल्या गोव्याची आठवण करून देणारे. आमची हे पहिलीच मॅक्सको बाजूची ट्रिप होती. मेक्सिको भौगोलिक साधारण भारतासारखे आहे, खूपशी झाडे आपल्याकडे असतात तीच. कण्हेर, तगर, तेरडा, बोगनवेल सदाफुली सगळीकडे बहरलेली. आकाशी नीलमणी समुद्र, नितळ निळे आकाश आणि पांढरी स्वच्छच मऊ वाळू. अजून काय पाहिजे सुट्टीसाठी ? पण आम्ही आता साधे नाही राहिले, बरच अमेरिकावासी झालो आहोत. ऑल इन्कलुसिव्ह रिसॉर्ट पण लागते हे सगळे अजून एन्जॉय करायला . या रिसॉर्ट मध्ये होती ८ रेस्टोरंटस, २ कॉफी शॉप्स, स्पा, ३ स्विमिन्ग पूल आणि पाहिजे ते बसल्या जागी आणून देणारा सेवकवर्ग
आमचे रिसॉर्ट ड्रीम्स रिव्हिएरा
या रिसॉर्ट मधले सगळ्यात पॉश रेस्टोरंट होते ते फ्रेंच. तिकडे आत जाण्यासाठी ड्रेस कोडे पण होता, पुरुषांचे कॉलर वाले शर्ट आणि पँट्स, शॉर्ट्स चालत नाहीत. बायकांचे ड्रेस किंवा पार्टी टॉप्स, जीन्स नाहीत, स्लीपर्स नाहीत वगैरे. आम्ही बाहेर मेनू पाहिला , एकमेव व्हेजिटेरिन डिश सलाड. पण तरी विचार केला एकदा जावेच. दोन तास बाहेर थांबल्यावर आत प्रवेश.
एकदम सुंदर टेबले, छान म्युजिक , प्रशांत वातावरण
पण वेटर छान होता. तो म्हणाला तो व्हेज डिश अरेंज करेल. तिथले जेवण पाच कोर्स वाले.
पहिले आले अँपेटीझर. एका सुंदर प्लेटमध्ये अर्ध्या चेरी टोमॅटोवर,चीज आणि अर्धे द्राक्ष
दुसरा कोर्स सलाड. ४ पाने आणि ड्रेसिंगची सुंदर ओळ
तिसरा कोर्स बटाटा सूप. आख्खे तीन चमचे भरून होते ते.
मग मेन कोर्स . त्याचं वर्णन ५ ओली होते मेनू कार्ड मध्ये पण आली डिश ती मधल्या बोटाच्या लांबीची ग्रेप लीव्हज मधली गुंडाळी .
मग डेसर्ट २ घास (छोटे बरं )केक आणि २ घास आईस क्रिम
मग कळले कि फ्रेंच लोक इतके बारीक कसे राहतात ते. आम्ही आपले बाहेर आलो , खाली वर्ल्ड कॅफेला जाऊन पास्ता खाल्ला आणि मग पोट भरले .
दुसऱ्या दिवशी आम्ही गेलो शेल-हा या वॉटर पार्क आणि डॉल्फिन ऍडव्हेंचरला . आम्ही पाहिलेल्या सगळ्या पार्कपेक्षा एकदम वेगळी नैसर्गिक पार्क आहे ही . स्नॉर्केलिंग केले, मुलीनी क्लीफ डायविंग केले, प्रचंड मोठी वॉटर स्लाईड होती. पाण्याची गुहा पाहिली .
मग पाळी होती डॉल्फिनची. . त्यांना शिकवलेले असते, त्यामुळे तुमच्या जवळ येतात, कसरती करतात, त्यांना टच केले तरी चालते. सुंदर फ्रेंडली प्राणी .
एक दिवस झिपलाइन पार्क केली. उंच उंच जायचे आणि १० वेगवेगळ्या स्पीड आणि अंतराच्या झिपला लटकून यायचे. खाली बघायची भीती वाटत होती पण मजा ही येत होती. सगळ्यात वेगळे होते ते झिप रोलर कोस्टर . तुम्हाला शेवट दिसत नाही आणि किती वरखाली आहे ते पण कळत नाही.
मेक्सिकोला पण भारतासारखा इतिहास आहे. खूप जुने पिरॅमिड्स आहेत, उत्खलन केलेली आहेत. आम्ही अशाच एका ठिकाणी गेलो होतो . कोबा नावाची जागा आहे. मायन लोकांनी देऊळ बांधली आहेत. त्यांची देवळे आपल्यासारखी नाहीत. पूर्ण सपाट जागी असल्यामुळे, त्यांना देऊळ म्हणजे टेकडी बांधावी लागायची. टेकडी म्हणजे देऊळ त्यांचे, आत गाभारा वगैरे नाही. दर बावन्न वर्षांनी त्याच देवळावर नवीन देऊळ बांधायचे. असे करत करत उंची वाढवत जायची देवळाची. वरती जायचे आणि निसर्ग देवतेला (वरुण , सुर्य ,अग्नी ) प्रार्थना आणि बाकी काही अर्पण करायचे. जवळ जवळ १२ माजली उंच देऊळ ते. चढलो पण उतरताना दोरी धरून बसून बसून उतरावे लागले.
मेक्सिको भागाचे अजून एक वैशिष्ठ म्हणजे सिनोटे. जमिनीखाली गुहा आणि त्याचे छप्पर पाहून एक भोक पडलेले आणि पाण्याने भरलेलं . मेक्सिको भाग पूर्ण चुनखडीच्या दगडाचा आहे. त्यामुळे जमीन मऊ म्हणून अशी सिंक-होल तयार होतात. पूर्वीच्या काळी हेच त्यांचे प्यायच्या पाण्याचे स्रोत होते. अजूनही मायन लोक तिकडे जाण्यापूर्वी पूजा करून जातात. आम्ही कधीही अनुभवले नव्हते अशा जागा आहेत त्या. ५० फूट रॅपलिंग करून दोरीला धरून खाली जायचे. अंधारी गुहा, पण मोठी, स्विमिन्ग करता येते. वटवाघुळे फिरत होती. वरच्या मॅन्ग्रोव्ह झाडांची मुळे लटकत होती . स्वच्छ पाणी, सगळा खालचा तळ दिसतो. तिकडे स्विमिन्ग करताना मजा आली.
सिनोटेचा दुसरा प्रकार म्हणजे पूर्ण जमिनीने घेरलेले पण मध्यभागी उघडे. तिकडेही एक दिवस स्विमिन्ग केले.
प्लाया डी कार्मेन हे जवळचे अजून एक गाव. फाईव्ह स्टार तुळशी बागेसारखी दुकाने एका बाजूला आणि शॉपिंग मॉल्स दुसऱ्या बाजूला. शेवटी समुद्र किनारा. बोटींच्या स्वागतासाठी किनाऱ्यावर मोठी कमान होती.
जवळ जवळ सगळे फोटो आम्ही काढलेले आहेत, पण काही वेबसाईट वरून घेतले कारण आम्हाला काढायला परवानगी नव्हती.